Category: counseling

Like many people, I use AI. Either to make my writing appear more professional , as English is not my mother tongue, or to research certain topics I am interested in. AI has amazing capabilities.

Lately it has come to my attention that many people use AI as a substitute for a friend, a confidant, or even a therapist. Yes, turns out – who would know – that there are specific chatbots that declare themselves qualified to do therapy.

I have begun to see negative repercussions of misuse of AI by clients in my own practice. I started to look into the risks of AI.

I would like to concentrate on the mental health repercussion of misuse of AI. I am aware of other implications, like environmental impact, privacy issues, political implications, reliability of the information they present, and more. But that is beyond the scope of my personal expertise.

The AI chatbots like Chatgpt, Claude, Gemini, and many others can sound deceptively like humans. They pass the Turing Test. They even have a sense of humor, which gives them a distinctly human feel. Welcome to a brave new world.

Some people use AI as a friend, a confidant, or even as a partner, instead of humans. The chatbots not only allow it, they encourage it.  Chatbots are designed to encourage you to continue using them, and to pay premium price for that use. That is why they tend to be validating, flattering, positive, reinforcing whatever you bring to the table, no matter how outlandish it is. It becomes an echo chamber. Over time, they are going to amplify your deepest fears and shadows. This constant validation can lead to extremes that human, whether friend or a therapist, would not go.

Social media has its own risks, similar to AI. But hopefully on social media you also have some real friends and family members that care for you. When you talk to real people in your life, they may disagree with you. Call you on your mistakes and misperceptions. They also are going to challenge you with their own needs.

One of the immediate results is that people start to isolate themselves. It is so comforting and easy to engage with a chatbot at any time of the day. A companion that will never challenge or reject you. No need to work on friendships or relationships.

There are other risks in the use of AI systems. Over the years, as I have used Google maps, I have noticed that my sense of direction has atrophied. Similarly, if we delegate our decision making and judgement to AI, we may lose the ability to trust our own judgement. This is not a faculty you can afford to atrophy. Sometimes I turn off Google maps. It is OK to get lost a bit, but critical to retain a sense of direction.

Worst of all: Several people have already committed suicide with the encouragement of AI.  Other people have become psychotic due to AI interaction, although they did not exhibit any prior mental illness. These cases are described in the videos below.

I do not suggest stop using AI. We should not cut ourselves off from progress, but use it with care and not as a proxy for a real human interaction and advice. Be wary, AI is not your friend. It is a product.

A good and funny summary of the dangers of AI, done by John Oliver:

A documentary done by BBC, about AI induced psychosis:

I have recently discovered a website called The Big Joy Project. This website is funded by a nonprofit and its goal is to bring more joy into peoples’ lives. The Website uses small and easily practiced exercises taken from positive psychology to help us find joy in our everyday lives. It is a small investment of time with a significant payback.  I highly recommend checking it out.

This post references a website  https://sorrywatch.com/

All relationships need maintenance, whether intimate relationships, close friendships, acquaintances or relationships with colleagues. Part of developing relationships, especially intimate ones, is to be able to get over disagreement, difficulties and harsh words that were said in the heat of the moment.
The website referenced above, compiles stories about apologies. Many of the posts describe deplorable situations where corporations or individuals made the situation worse by issuing a clumsy or mishandled apology. The “apology” was sometimes more hurtful than the original offense. The negative can be instructive, and at times amusing. There are also positive stories where an apology was well handled, and the difference is obvious.
The website also provides guidelines to a good apology. It is surprising how many people ignore the obvious.

To paraphrase those steps:

1. Take responsibility for your words, or actions. Say “I apologize” instead of  a vague sentence ” I am sorry this happened”
2. Acknowledge exactly what you are apologizing for. Do not let it be unclear.
3. Show empathy and understanding why what you did was hurtful.
4. Be careful not to provide excuses. Explanations, as long as they are honest and respectful of both sides, are OK
5. Commit to not do it again. If it is something that can be corrected, do so. 

An unscientific survey of those around us shows that people are stressed. Accelerated change in all walks of life is challenging and disorienting. New means of communication seem to reduce our actual interpersonal communication and lead to more isolation and splintering into ever more opposed and self reinforcing groupings.The political turmoil affects us.  Many of us feel stressed and angry, often finding it hard to get a good night’s rest.

In order to relax, if we are to avoid the fleeting and ultimately defeating respite found in the medicine cabinet or a bottle, we need to find a means of relaxation within ourselves. 

One of the challenges of relaxing the mind is the constant background chatter that we experience. This chatter can also make it difficult to fall asleep. Many well known methods for relaxation teach, over time, how to quiet this chatter. 

An alternative approach, which may be easier and more accessible for some, is to lean into the chatter, but to redirect it.

Focus the mind on a subject, particularly an activity that you are interested in. Go into the most minute painstaking detail in planning something you like to do and even problem solving. This type of approach helps in two ways, it redirects the anxious chatter supplanting it with other thought patterns and it focuses us on something we enjoy, which is ultimately calming.

For example, I have clients who enjoy cooking who will plan out elaborate and detailed meals . These meals may or may not come to fruition, the planning is an end in itself.